Mentoring Young Adults in their migration to maturity

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A big part of young adult ministry leadership is meeting and mentoring young adults. There hasn’t been a month where someone hasn’t asked me to help them with something or meet with them for growth. Here are some ways to help your mentoring process and help them achieve the desired outcome: 

(1) Set measurable goals for the young adult

• A goal is something measurable and something attainable. 
• It should be things you can see and they can do so that they are measurable. 

(2) Set variable goals for the young adult

• Remember: don’t get locked into expectations. Individuals will fail, situations will shift, problems will occur. When it does, vary and adapt the goals. 
• The goals are variable in that they also don’t always resolve around the same thing. I will mix it up and give a young adult an “off axis” goal to accomplish. This helps them stay motivated and me to see where their priorities lie.  
• Celebrate small advances by setting small goals.  

1. I’ve got a guy who sent me a text message everyday he went without smoking a cigarette.  

2. Whenever someone comes back to church they want to “do” so many things, I try to counsel them to just make it to church next week.  Let’s get to church next Sunday.  Then let’s make it 2 Saturday’s or 2 Sundays.  

• When a goal is achieved, set up bigger goals. 

(3) Give assignments between meetings

• Homework reveals those who are committed to change.  

1. One girl I met with spent an hour and a half pouring out her heart on how she wanted to change and be different.  I asked her to make one phone call to apologize for something she had done.  I wouldn’t meet with her again until she called that person – that was 5 years ago.  We still haven’t met.  

2. For someone changing their life I usually make this assignment:  Next time come back with a list of every person in your life who is a negative influence and everyone who is a positive influence.  I’ll also ask them to list the 5 people they text message the most.  Show up with those at the next meeting.  Usually I give them something to read as well.

3. The very first goal has to be simple and achievable. Help them get a win under the belt to build confidence and hope. 

(4) Record success and failures of the young adult in a journal

• This is as helpful for you as it is for them.  When they screw up you can go back and remind them of where they got it right.  
• If it helps in a clinical counseling environment it is bound to help you. 
• These journals must be in a secured private location.

(5) Help them achieve the goal – but don’t do it for them

• They don’t need a babysitter.  They don’t need a fixer.  They don’t need a personal banker.  
• They do need a prophet to tell them truth.  They do need a Moses to lead them to the Promised Land.  They need a leader who sacrifices for them not an enabler. 
• If you do it for them all the time – maybe you are the problem?

(6) Don’t give up when they fail

• How many times have you failed?  God’s called you to help them as much as you’ve failed.  Don’t give up on them.  They can always come home.

(7) Be a positive leader

• Lead from the positive not the negative.  They have enough deconstructionists, negative, dark, evil, sadistic, bad stuff in their lives.  
• Script your conversations, script your sermons, script your services, and script your events to be places of joy and hope and peace.  
• People should leave the presence of God and your presence feeling better.

(8) Be ahead of them in the journey

• I need a leader in my life that’s been there and will take me where they’ve been.  We can discover the road together, but, I want to follow somebody who’s got the hand of God on them.  Young adults are no different.  

1. Pray more than them

2. Read the bible more than them

3. Live holier than them…it’s not a contest, just the responsibility of leaders.